I’m thinking it may be the one unifying experience of living in the United States right now, no matter what your politics or beliefs, this pandemic has changed how we experience our lives. Between preexisting anxiety and depression and all the fear and uncertainty surrounding Covid, I’ve probably succumbed more to the isolation than most. I have not been taking care of myself and I have in more ways than just socially been shutting down. I certainly haven’t been writing.

That said, I do feel like there’s been a shift in the last week or so. Not externally, but within myself. Something within me is no longer content to accept the stagnation. I’ve been researching new activities which might get me out of the house while still accommodating anxiety and Covid concerns, a new term of my degree program has just begun (and the previous term really was a low point), I’ve been better keeping up with housework and other domesticities, and for the first time in months, I’ve picked up my knitting needles again.

Now, sure, I know none of those things is writing, and that’s still a concern, but beating myself up over it more than is unavoidable isn’t going to help; better to note that there is positive improvement, and perhaps that will transition into writing as well. Coming here, you may not think much about knitting, but that is a very real part of my other identity as a fiber artist, a part which has been dormant for months now. It feels good and right to be knitting again – to be looking at the world creatively, instead of through the monochrome lens of anxiety and depression.

So, perhaps the tide has shifted. If one creative outlet is breaking through the dam, maybe writing can as well.

2 thoughts on “Procrastiknitting

  1. I like the raw honesty of your post. These are difficult times for us all. When pre-existing depression and anxiety are added to the mix, it must be damn near unbearable and crippling. I hope that you continue to find ways to improve your mental health and well-being. And remember, the bestie thing to do is grip on hard to that one person you know got you! Hugs.


    1. I’ve spent too much time in my earlier years trying to fit a mold and it never worked… now it is just all me all the time, take it or leave it. While it is off topic, I feel like my depression and anxiety will be an ongoing topic, especially when it comes time to talk about my writing.


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